The Monster Within Me

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The Monster Within Me
There is a monster within me. His name is Phil. These are the journal's that will record my battle with the monster and his attempt to keep me as a losing trader. But I will prevail and learn to control this monster within me. I will be a great trader, I will be in control of who I want to be.
I will SLAY THE MONSTER within me so that it can no longer control me and my thoughts.
By becoming an Observer of the self, I give authority to the Empowered parts, to be all I can become.

Brick by Brick

Monday, March 5, 2018

Reboot

I have been trading but not really-  Just Sim trading. While one learns what to do and not do. It still is a game. I have been a gamer.  Gamers are just that, Gamers.  They live in a world that is not real.  It is all fake.  It may give them a feeling that they could actually do what they do in a game for real.  But it is not real. Most of the world are dreamers not do-ers. They dream that they could succeed and feel that they would, but they prefer to just dream about it, and live in the fantasy that they would succeed.
I have been one of those. I have been dreaming and not living real.

March 1 2018
Was my last day to sim trade forever. I have a screen shot of it posted on my trading wall. I will never sim again. I may not ever trade live, I may just sit and stare at the screen, But I feel that I have taken another step towards my goal as a good trader.

March 5 2018

I have a method, I know how to trade, Whats the next big step ?  What has really sunk in that I am missing now that I have had to sit here and stare at my screen watching real trades show up and leave without me mentally being able to participate ?

I have dusted off  Rande Howell's course I took many moons ago and am now ready to take to heart the words within, and get control of the Monster that is within me.  I must work to become the Monster that does not slay itself, but become a controlled Monster that slayers other of less control.

I have come to realize that I want to be a person that can control his thoughts towards good purposes. and that great trading will just be one of the positive results from that effort. I have come to realize that fear is what keeps me from being all I can be in other areas of my life. Learning to control my State of mind suddenly seems to be more of a value and goal than being a trader with a growing account balance.  My mindlessness all these years has lead me to believe my thoughts are who I am.
But for some strange reason it has suddenly dawned on me in a moment of mindfullness that I can change that thinking. And that doing so is just as great a challenge to me as it has been to trade well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=017Ggr7hZd8

This is my daily go to video for the time being.

Moving forward once again !
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